It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
