it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
