i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
She made me pour olive oil on her.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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