thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
