I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
