Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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