Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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