I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
i out mim tonsoeep
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
