My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
