the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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