I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
im having a threesome with these popsicles
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
