i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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