You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
