If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
