bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Two words: nipple clamps
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