Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
