Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
