Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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