hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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