This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
