just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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