i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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