Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I currently don't understand fingers.
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