he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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