I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
