Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
