We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
