She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
