Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
