If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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