i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Randomize
