**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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