I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
