Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
