i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
