Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
