yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
