I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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