I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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