I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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