you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
