I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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