It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
