Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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