He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
