so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm passing your future prison.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
