i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
