When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
