If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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