what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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