There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
