mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
