I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
